By Samantha Goddard
Emotional Resilience & Performance Specialist
If you’re a parent of a teenager sitting exams right now, you’ll know this time can feel intense for everyone.
I remember it vividly, this time last year, I had one child sitting GCSEs and another doing A-levels. The pressure, the emotions, the mental overwhelm, it’s a lot to cope with. Not just for them, but for you too.
What I’ve learned, both as a parent and through my work with young people, is this:
Exam stress isn’t just about the exams.
It’s about what those exams represent in a young person’s mind.
- Fear of failure
- Pressure to succeed
- Comparison and feeling “less than”
- Worry about the future
- Not wanting to let anyone down
When that builds, their system can become overwhelmed, and that’s when we start to see anxiety, shutdown, avoidance, or emotional outbursts.
So how can you support them in a way that really helps?
1. Understand the Mental Load They’re Carrying
Even if they don’t show it, most teens are thinking about far more than they let on.
They’re juggling:
- expectations (their own and others’)
- comparison with friends
- uncertainty about the future
- and often a constant internal dialogue of “What if I fail?”
As the mental load builds, their brain shifts into protection mode, not performance mode.
This is why you might see:
- procrastination
- lack of focus
- irritability
- an “I don’t care” attitude
- or complete overwhelm
It’s not laziness, it’s overload.
2. Protect Their Focus (Gently)
Phones are one of the biggest challenges during this time. Not because teens lack discipline, but because they’re designed to be highly engaging, and when your teen is already stressed, distraction becomes even more appealing.
Creating some simple structure can make a big difference:
- encourage phone-free study blocks (even 30–60 minutes at a time)
- keep phones out of the bedroom at night to support better sleep
- help them create a calm, distraction-free space to revise
This isn’t about control, it’s about reducing overwhelm so their brain can focus.
3. Support Their Sleep
Sleep is often the first thing to go, and one of the most important things for:
- memory
- concentration
- emotional regulation
Late-night scrolling plus exam stress can lead to an overactive nervous system.
Keeping evenings calmer, reducing screen time before bed, and encouraging a consistent routine can have a powerful impact on how they feel the next day.
4. Make Space for Breaks and Movement
When revision feels intense, it’s easy for teens to think they should just keep going. But the brain doesn’t work best under constant pressure.
Taking regular breaks, especially ones that involve movement can actually improve focus, reduce stress and help consolidate what they’re learning.
Encourage them to:
- go for a walk outside
- get some fresh air and natural light
- play with the dog/cat/guinea pig
- go to a club, training session or activity they enjoy
These aren’t distractions from revision, they’re part of what helps the brain process and retain information.
Often, they’ll come back clearer, calmer and able to focus much more effectively.
5. Watch the Sugar & Caffeine
When energy dips, it’s easy to reach for:
- sugary snacks
- energy drinks
- multiple coffees
But too much sugar and caffeine can increase:
- anxiety
- jitteriness
- poor concentration
Instead, gently encourage:
- regular meals
- balanced snacks
- and staying well hydrated (water really does support brain function)
Small shifts here can make a noticeable difference.
6. Help Them Speak to Themselves Differently
One of the biggest drivers of anxiety is internal language. Many teens are unknowingly saying things like:
- “I can’t do this”
- “I’m going to fail”
- “I’m not good enough”
The mind responds to these messages, and can start to treat them as true.
You can help them gently reframe:
- “This feels hard, but I’m figuring it out”
- “I don’t need to know everything, just do my best”
This isn’t about forced positivity. It’s about giving their mind something more supportive to work with.
7. Be Their Safe Space
This is one of the most powerful things you can offer.
When teens feel overwhelmed, they don’t always need solutions, they need a space to feel heard and understood.
You might say something like:
“No pressure. If you want to unload what’s in your head, I’m here to listen and we can figure it out together.”
That kind of response lowers their guard and helps them feel safe enough to open up.
It’s natural to want to fix things, but often just listening and reflecting back what you hear is enough to ease some of the pressure.
8. Give Them a Simple Reset Tool (They Can Use Anywhere)
When anxiety rises, the fastest way to calm the body is through the breath.
Try this with them:
- breathe in slowly for 4
- breathe out slowly for 6-8
- repeat for a few minutes
The longer exhale helps signal to the nervous system that it’s safe to relax, even in the middle of an exam.
9. Help Them See Beyond the Exams
When teens are in it, exams can feel like everything, but part of your role is to gently widen their perspective.
Talk about:
- what comes next
- the long summer ahead
- holidays, festivals, time with friends
- new opportunities and experiences
Help them see this as a stepping stone, not the final destination. Because when the pressure reduces, performance often improves.
10. Introduce Simple Psychological Tools
There are some simple, effective tools that can support anxious teens:
- Visualisation – imagining themselves walking into the exam feeling calm and prepared
- Positive self-talk – reinforcing capability rather than fear
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping – a gentle technique that can help regulate the nervous system and reduce anxiety
If this is something you’d like to explore, I’m running an online EFT tapping workshop on Tuesday 26th May at 7:30pm for parents and teens.
You’re very welcome to join – just email [email protected] for more information.
A Final Thought
Your teen doesn’t need you to have all the answers, they don’t need perfection, and they don’t need more pressure.
What they need most is:
- your calm
- your belief in them
- and a space where they feel safe, supported, and understood
Because when they feel that, they don’t just get through exams, they come out the other side stronger, more resilient, and more confident in themselves.
About
Samantha Goddard is an Emotional Resilience & Performance Specialist supporting women and teenagers with anxiety, overwhelm and confidence.
Find out more about how she supports teenagers and young people here:
https://www.samantha-goddard.com/teens-young-people
